In Nigeria, conversations around divorce and single motherhood are often whispered, but celebrity dancer Kafayat Shafau, popularly known as Kaffy, is breaking the silence. On the latest episode of The Honest Bunch Podcast, Kaffy revealed the heartbreaking struggles she has faced while trying to date again as a divorced woman and single mum.
According to Kaffy, some men have bluntly told her that being a mother of two makes her unfit for a relationship. “I have had someone tell me because I am a single mother he cannot think about dating me because I have two children,” she said. For many Nigerians, this echoes the unspoken stigma single mothers face daily when it comes to relationships and remarriage.
Kaffy challenged this mindset by asking a powerful question: “What makes you think a woman that has been divorced is not even the better candidate if she has worked on herself?” She pointed out that divorce doesn’t define a woman’s worth. In fact, she argued that self-awareness after a failed marriage could make someone a stronger partner.
Highlighting the reality of modern relationships, Kaffy stressed that no one is guaranteed a perfect marriage. She noted that even couples who marry “fresh” could still end up divorced, considering global statistics show over 70% of marriages crash. “You are part of the 70%,” she emphasized, reminding listeners that love and relationships carry uncertainties regardless of marital history.
The dance queen also touched on the misconceptions surrounding love. Many people, she said, mistake the feeling of “butterflies in the tummy” for true love. “Do you know that a lot of butterflies in the tummy is a trauma response?” Kaffy revealed. She explained that real love should bring peace, not anxiety, adding that society needs to rethink its understanding of healthy relationships.
Her raw honesty has sparked online debates across Nigeria, with many applauding her courage to share such vulnerable experiences. Others argue her words reflect the silent battles countless single mothers fight behind closed doors.
As Kaffy’s story trends, one thing is clear: conversations around love, divorce, and single motherhood in Nigeria are far from over.
